LGBTQ+ Experiences of domestic abuse
There are some kinds of domestic abuse that can be based on your orientation or gender identity.
These can include:
Threatening to disclose your romantic or sexual orientation, gender identity, gender history, or HIV status without your consent
Coercive and controlling behavior around your romantic or sexual orientation and/or gender identity
Pressuring you to keep your identity or relationship secret
Denying that LGBTQ+ people in intimate relationships can experience domestic abuse
Isolating you from family, friends, and the LGBTQ+ community
Undermining your romantic or sexual orientation and/or gender identity
Using your hormones or gender-affirming medication to control
Trying to change or suppress your orientation or gender identity
Intentionally use the wrong pronouns
LGBTQ+ people may be manipulated into believing that there is no help available to them because they are LGBTQ+. They may also be told that abusive behaviors are ‘normal’ in LGBTQ+ relationships, or that LGBTQ+ cannot experience domestic abuse. Abuse from family members is sometimes not recognized as abuse and written off as a ‘family dispute’ or having ‘different values’.
LGBTQ+ people experiencing domestic abuse might feel that domestic abuse services are not for them or may not understand what has happened to them.
Understanding LGBTQ+ experiences of sexual violence
We understand that the words around sexual violence are difficult ones and can by triggering for survivors. We can help you understand the words that might be used in other contexts, for example if you report to the police or attend a sexual assault referral centre.
We are mindful that the law does not call sexual assault by one women against another ‘rape’ (it is called serious sexual assault). For some women, this feels like their experience is viewed as less serious by the law. We don’t take it less seriously; we understand the impact of sexual violence by women and we will use the words you want to use. If you want to name your experience as ‘rape’, we support you to do so. If you decide to report to the police, we will help you navigate this process to ensure the impact of your experience is understood.
We also understand that sexual violence experienced by LGBTQ+ people can be motivated by homophobia, biphobia, transphobia and acephobia. It can be perpetrated by non-LGBTQ+ people or it can happen within LGBTQ+ relationships and communities. We know how sexual violence impacts on LGBTQ+ people’s sense of self, identity, relationships and community, as well as the individual response to trauma.